


Broken Compass

by Akame_Dragneel



Series: Only the nine of us [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternative End, Angst, Character Death, Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Platonic Relationships, angst and hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 11:44:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20275360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akame_Dragneel/pseuds/Akame_Dragneel
Summary: Alternative end to Guilt.It wasn't supposed to be that but it ended like this anyway.No,I won't tell you what the last sentence meant, it's free to you to interpret it like you want it, I hurt myself enough while writing it.Hope you liked it, please tell me your thoughts about this!Sorry for the mistakes, as usual.Signed : Akame, the girl who, two days before her birthday, thinks it's a good idea to write an angsty fic.





	Broken Compass

Sometimes, it feels like time flies. Like your memories, everything good, will stay in the past. Like one day, those will only be blur memories you’ll look at while thinking about how good it was. Because, time passed so fast, you forgot all the bad memories. 

Sometimes, time is like frozen. Every time you try to forget what  happened, it will get even worse. The feelings you had, the horror that you thought about back then getting more and more horrible. Every time you close your eyes, you think about that. You can’t forget. The fear, the sadness, or whatever you felt. You’ll remember  every of your tears, how each of them had a different signification for you, how they all made their way on your face. How you get vulnerable enough to cry in front of people. 

Your brain will become a labyrinth from which you can’t escape, your memories blocking every way for you. 

Everyone has some of those. We all have memories you want to forget. Because they hurt you. Because you’ll never be able to breath every time someone will mention it, the horrible view of what happened flashing in front of your eyes like a horror movie. 

* * *

In front of a grave, he was standing, eyes looking down. 

How much has it been, since his death? Months? Years? 

He can’t remember, every second feeling like decades. 

He remembers, he remembers so well how everyone has been since that day. 

At first, they all tried. They all tried to be like everything was fine. But, after a moment, they  realised it. Nothing will be like before. Nothing. 

The first one to give up was Felix.

Felix had to go back to Australia. He was such a courageous boy, but every time he saw his seven members, he couldn’t stop but think about how unfair it was, about how something- no, someone- was missing. So, after his family insisted, telling him that they couldn’t let him alone in Korea any longer after that accident, he finally gave up. 

_ “Sorry. I can’t do it anymore. It has no meaning to stay any longer when we know that stray kids  _ _ is _ _ _ _ over.” _

_ In a way, the all understand why he was doing this. But still, it hurt. It hurt enough for them to have an argument. _

_ “What the heck do you mean “Stray Kids is over”?! Are you that weak, Felix?! Weak enough to stop so easily?!” _

_ Felix’s eyes, who looked sad at first, were now filled with something else.  _

_ Anger. _

_ “So easily?! So easily you mean?! Are you the one who heard your members' bloody screams while almost dying, Minho? Are you the one who saw your best friend’s death like you were in the first line of a cinema?!” _

_ They all know it. Minho isn’t the type to get angry like that. Because he loves his members. Because he understands Felix. Because his best friend’s death changed him.  _

_ He just didn’t want to  _ _ lose _ _ someone again.  _

_ But in the end.... _

_ “Stray Kids was nine. Nine or none. So yeah, Stray kids is over.” _

_ ...remained only seven of them. _

After that,  Hyunjin ,  Seungmin and  Jeongin leaved at the same moment.

_ “We’ve been talking about if for a  _ _ quite _ _ time. With Felix gone, Stray Kids will never continue. We all need to concentrate on school from now, sorry, hyungs.” _

Again they cried, all of them. 

Some time after that, after Stray Kids officially disbanded because from the nine members only four remained,  Woojin came to him. 

_ “I can’t do this anymore. You know, knowing that five of the members are gone, knowing that one of them will never be back again, I can’t stay in this company. I need to start everything again, even if I will never forget about Stray Kids, even if I'll never try to forget Stray Kids. But, staying here is good for none of us. Sorry.” _

_ Woojin _ _ accepted a new contract with SM  _ _ ent _ _ ., his old label. He said that he’ll continue singing, not in a group, like he was supposed to be in NCT, but as a solo singer, because after Stray Kids, he could never consider anyone as his family.  _

_ He cried, again, but smiled for his  _ _ hyung _ _ , like the elder always did for the youngers. _

Minho didn’t say anything. He went to  Changbin and Chan, and told them, with a soft smile, trying to reassure them:

_ “I think you know what I want to say. I’m leaving the company.” _

_ He trained more and became a choreographer, Stray Kids’ old choreography helping him to have a reputation. Slowly, he was becoming one of the best choreographers. _

Changbin , one day came to him, in his studio he rarely quit now.

_ “There’s no point of me staying here. I can’t. The two of us producing isn’t good enough, there’s always something missing.  _ _ So _ _ I’ll save both of us,  _ _ hyung _ _ . I’ll go, so we’ll both stop having pointless hopes, hoping that one day our studio will be loud again. Take care,  _ _ hyung _ _ .” _

_ Changbin _ _ left the company, but still worked for them sometimes, he couldn’t refuse that to the company who gave him such a great family. He started working in another company, who was  _ _ pretty well _ _ known. He already composed for  _ _ Woojin _ _ once, who was having a good reputation as a soloist. _

Chan was the only one left. What did he do? 

He stayed in his studio. He stayed in his agency. 

Because, no matter how much he tried, there was no way for him to forget the group he waited seven years to be in. 

And they were all like them. 

Felix cried at every of his birthdays, remembering how, one day before him, someone was supposed to do the same thing as him. 

Seungmin couldn’t look at any of their songs without feeling the tears in his eyes, every time he would hear  _ his _ voice.

Jeongin , in total opposition to his youngest  hyung , was listening every day to 3racha’s song. Because it was the only way for him to not forget his brother’s voice. Maybe it was the reason why he was always recording everything, now. 

The word  Hyunjin was saying the most these days was “sorry”. He tried so much to never fight with anyone again, because he was afraid that, if something happens to them, he’ll feel guilty about all the times they could have spent smiling they spent arguing, instead. He had a scare, on his arm, because of the broken window. And looking at him always made him want to throw up. Maybe it was why he was always wearing bracelets.

Woojin would sadly smile every time he sees the other groups in the industry. When he sees the  dreamies , most of them being the age of their old 00’ line, laughing together. And, every time he hears someone calling  Jisung , the one from NCT, he secretly hopes to see his little  Jisung , smiling at him with his soft cheeks, his eyes filled with stars and his innocent smile. 

Minho never hold anyone’s hand again. He was afraid that if he did, if he trusted someone again, that person will leave him. _You traitor. You bastard who left us._ _ You _ _ selfish bastard, why didn’t you take me with you. Why didn’t you hold my hand during that accident too?  _

The first month after quitting JYP  ent. ,  Changbin didn’t touch to any of the songs recordings he threw in the corner of his room. Until one day, when he felt like he needed to hear his brother again. And with tears rolling down his face, he listened to all of them, even to wow, smiling sadly in the beginning. 

Chan? He was a producer, writing for almost every of JYP  ent’s groups, even for his old friend  Bambam . He saw trainees growing with hope, some of them whispering in his back about his story. Stray Kids became a myth, in the agency. But he didn’t say anything. He continued producing and composing every day, until the day JYP himself told his to stop.

_ “You’re wasting your life. Writing songs can make you forget, but you need to accept the reality. Go to take some air.”  _ That’s what he said. 

So here he was, in front of the actual first member who left Stray Kids.

“Hey, Jisungie. You’re resting well, right?”

He smiled. He didn't apologised again, thought. Because "Sorry, I'm so sorry for yelling at you. Sorry." were the only words he ever pronounced since back then to the grave.

“I hope you’re proud of us, ‘Sungie. Sorry, Stray Kids couldn’t continue. You broke the group, but it’s okay, please don’t feel guilty. Be happy for us, Sung. You took our happiness with you. Maybe you were our happiness, who knows. So please, smile for us when we can’t.”

His blurry vision made him notice that he was crying. 

“Whoa, I’m tired. Maybe I should rest too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative end to Guilt.   
It wasn't supposed to be that but it ended like this anyway.   
No,I won't tell you what the last sentence meant, it's free to you to interpret it like you want it, I hurt myself enough while writing it. 
> 
> Hope you liked it, please tell me your thoughts about this! 
> 
> Sorry for the mistakes, as usual.
> 
> Signed : Akame, the girl who, two days before her birthday, thinks it's a good idea to write an angsty fic.


End file.
